Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
