how can u be prego again
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
