I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
