Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
