He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
