Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
