I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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