So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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