I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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