And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
