if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
