just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
