Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
