Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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