I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
