Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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