doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
