After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
