Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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