Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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