i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Cover your peen. We're going out.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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