the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
