Betty ford says i'm here all night
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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