the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
