Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
