nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
