wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
