I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
