Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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