I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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