No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
