New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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