I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
