Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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