A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
