Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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