3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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