one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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