I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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