It's Friday. Sex?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
