So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
