Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
