her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
