it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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