Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
