He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
