Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
True strength comes from lack of pants
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
