I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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