Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
