first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
