Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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