I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
